Talking about depression, people would think that I made fun of myself & things that revolved around me. I thought so too, but it wasn’t.
It started after the passing of my beloved mother in December 2013. She was diagnosed with oesophagus cancer in a very short period of time. It happened that she died before my eyes and I can’t accept the fact that she had gone.
Being at home feels like living in a cell; no air but only 4-angled brick wall. I felt lonely even though I have my sisters & niece staying with me. I felt even lonely and cried loudly at night missing my mother as I used to sleep with her. It was a very heart shattering moment I ever experienced in my life. So I used to spend most of my time with my friends at campus.
I was diagnosed with depression (severe suicidal thought) in March 2014. My family did not know about this, not even my close friends. I was prescribed with some medication including sleeping pills as I can stay awake for 48-72 hours straight without a nap. Overtime, I felt useless with myself and with this condition. This mental illness happened for about a year until in February 2015, I met my husband. He changed my life 360. He made me forget about my problems whenever we’re together. Ever since, I have stopped stop taking my medicine.
Once in awhile the symptoms do coming back to haunt me, but I always find ways to fight it back. I do believe that being diagnosed with depression isn’t easy as my mind was always scattered around, blaming God for taking my mom away from me, for putting me in such situation; but I’m glad I managed to get through that phase, with the help of my husband’s presence, even without him knowing and realizing that he is married to a person with depression. I am blessed that he is able to accept my flaws and is ready to help me to get through it again whenever the symptoms are coming back.