I’m a gay and I was diagnosed with HIV+ in year 2014. I used to feel ashamed for growing up as a gay, and now even worst where I got infected with HIV! It makes my life miserable and the thought of commit suicide keeps spinning around in my mind for these 3 years, never stopping.
In life, when a person is having a stable job, car, own 2 houses, enjoy life, and a commuted relationship, you are going to tag them #successful #completed #noregret. I am one of them, but i hashtag myself #loser #dirty #unwanted after I received my result back in 2014. I wish to cry harder but not sure why i can’t do that, and I think i might have mild depression afterall. I lost my most beloved partner and loss hope to my life, my work, my everything!
But I am glad, I have few close friends that make known about by health condition but they are not discriminate/criticize me, instead they are very supportive and always try to cheers me up to accept the facts! Whenever I am down or depress, I will think of their words and support given.
I am also trying to do awareness program on homosexual friends finder apps as well to let the community know what is HIV and how to prevent that. From the conversation with the users, I realized that are a lot of people out there having misconception about HIV transmitting platform.
One of the funny question posted to me was that “Is saliva or tear can transmit HIV?”. Although I use “funny” to describe the question, but in fact this is a sad case to see the awareness/knowledge among the community on this topic is so poor.
From my story, I hope to cheers up Hiv+ out there do not lose hope easily. Live well live healthy and we can actually live like a normal person.
Besides, I also hope my story can lessen the discrimination towards LBGT community as well as HIV patients out there!